No group of our community or person can ever be ignored as a possible Pedophile if their are signs showing. Yes, I'm angry, but I'm also terribly afraid. My Husband Is a Pedophile AMA - (r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Ask Me Anything) Has anything insane happened to you? Seven years ago, Darlene Ellison's husband was arrested by the FBI for his involvement with NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association. My husband hates my dad, he knows everything that happened when I was a kid. They’re usually seductive, manipulative, and highly controlling. Home » Family QAs » Get Help » Family Q&A » Relationships & Marriage Q&As » Pedophilia in Marriage. 17)Talks about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or spouse.As to them this is their lover or spouse. He was a prefect at my school and I was flattered that he even spoke to me. He may very well give you a large dose of denial or defensiveness in return, but it’s crucial to bring the issue up regardless of his reaction. Teach your children that they should not be asked to touch anyone in the bathing suit areas of their body or allow anyone to touch them in those areas.But most of all teach them total Body Safety matters, tell them the real names for their genitals, don't try to make them feel awkward by giving them names such as private area etc. My husband last night while I was half asleep said his 16 yr old niece Who's not biologically related but by marriage is skinny enough so he can **** her. There is no standard way of handling pedophiles in our court system. I was trying to keep up with a toddler and an infant and already felt a little off. My prayers are with you. Caring for Sexually Abused Children: A Handbook for Families and Churches, Love Must Be Tough: New Hope for Marriages in Crisis, Fool-Proofing Your Life: How to Deal Effectively With the Impossible People in Your Life, Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair. 10)Frequently photographs or collects photographs of his victims, either dressed, nude, or in sexually explicit acts. My husband is a pedophile. We can easily understand why you might be reluctant to take this step, but keep in mind that if you don’t report your husband you could possibly bear some degree of legal culpability depending on your state’s laws regarding reporting requirements of child sexual abuse. They are using this to try to justify their abuse to other's and to get a shorter sentence in court. If they don't feel they can talk with you about their true feelings or that they will be "put down" for it, then you can't expect they will tell you when they are put in an uncomfortable situation by a child molester.Don't have your child afraid to speak to you about their bodies. The incestuous or interfamilial molester is usually an adult male (father, stepfather, grandfather or live-in boyfriend of the mother,sister or aunt) who molests the child or children. Although physical abuse may occur, the molestation is usually secretive and is accomplished through mental duress and threats - that the child would be removed from the family if he/she did not succumb to his wishes, that he/she would be blamed for hurting the family if the offender is arrested, or that a sibling would be sexually abused if the victim did not consent. They can be male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious or non-religious, highly educated or non-educated, or from any race. Hi, I know this might seem like an odd thing to say; but my husband really gives me the creepy vibes that he's a pediphile. So if you feel like you’re going crazy, take heart. In this short film, Chase accompanies his friend Rebekah Skoor as they travel to visit Rebekah’s father, Michael, a convicted pedophile. Married to a Pedophile. The husband of QAnon-supporting Congresswoman-elect Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.) allegedly exposed himself to a minor in a bowling alley in 2004. I’m telling you this poor girl is a highschool kid and my husband … Recently I was looking at his computer history and saw that about 2-3 years ago before we met, he searched for child pornography. They’re essential to their ability to seduce their victims. As a matter of fact, they’re fairly simple and straightforward. 15)Often rationalizes his/her illicit activities, emphasizing his positive impact upon the victim and repressing feelings about the harm that he has done. What should I do after having just discovered that my husband has been sexually abusing our six-year-old niece? I swear to god I almost cried – it’s bad enough he’s jerking off to porn which I already knew he was doing instead of coming to bed with me at night, but now I think he’s a pedophile and I’m besides myself. He comes across so smooth and together, while I am an emotional basket case. The worst part, and the part that I remember after finding out about my own husband’s infidelity, was the fact that he kept trying to convince me that I was the crazy one. We recommend that you step back and try to take an objective look at your husband’s secret life of sexual abuse. Should I report him? Then place her under the care of a trained Christian clinician who specializes in sexual abuse. An adult who is good at interacting and understanding children is not a pedophile by default. To make matters worse, they tend to marry someone who has also been sexually broken. Question: Dear Stop It Now!, My boyfriend has had a problem with pornography. Take her to a safe location. He or she can also evaluate your husband’s overall attitude – for example, is he truly repentant and sorry for his actions, or does he refuse to admit that he’s done anything wrong? So of course I was there for him going through counseling, being his accountability partner, and support person through it all. If you’re afraid or hesitant to do this, spend a few moments thinking about this question: what’s likely to happen to your relationship with your husband if you simply turn a blind eye to his behavior? As they will thrive on this respect and the control over their victim, in knowing that he/she can convince many other's that the child is lying and is looking for attention. When my youngest was born my now ex-husband came to me and told me he had an addiction to pornography and that he wanted out and wanted my help. 4)Relates better to children than adults,and likes to always be around children, pretending to love and care for them, whilst planning their own sick alternative agenda. This is to be expected. Women should never mistrust that gut feeling that something’s not right. The good news is that this might actually be the best way to get him the help he needs: if the case comes to trial, and if he is convicted, the judge will probably order him to undergo personal therapy. A Letter From A Survivor Of Abuse To Her…, Parental Alienation IS Forced Child Abuse -…, REMEMBER THE ELDERLY IN OUR COMMUNITIES -…. Exactly what form this will take is likely to vary from state to state. Paedophiles are almost always men, more often married adult males and they work in a very wide range of occupations, from unskilled work up to corporate executives. This weekend I noticed he had one while holding our son on the couch early morning. 11)Collects child erotica and child-adult pornography.Again to these people this is normal and they sadly learn how not to get caught and how to inflict as much pain as possible onto their victim from other pedophiles.They have their own language. 'My husband's a paedophile – but I still love him' Abigail McKern, the actress speaking Helen's words in Channel 4 documentary 'Married to a Paedophile' T he knock came just before dawn. 16)Often portrays the child as the aggressor. The molestation occurs over an extended period of time, occasionally into the victim's adulthood. Your marriage might be healed, but it might not. If the child is not under your direct care, you will probably want to bring her parents or foster parents into the loop right away. They are as follows: 3)Works in a wide range of occupations, from unskilled laborer to corporate executive, to within the Judiciary, Law Enforcement, Medical Community,Religious Orders. So what should you do? Although these incidents do occur, the vast majority of child molesters are adults who seduce children through subtle intimidation and persuasion and are known to the child.The most dangerous place for 97% of children who are abused in life, is within their own HOME. They have their own language, signs and it is through this that they can hide behind the radar for a long time. The possibility of exposure doing this is far too high, hence why most children taken under these circumstances are sadly murdered. In most cases, pedophiles and sexual abusers are sexually broken themselves. Is my husband a pedophile? 7)Usually prefers either males or females, but may be bi-sexual.He/She may abuse a specific gender or sometimes they have no preference as they just enjoy the control of abuse of a child, irrespective of gender. He has violated the marriage covenant by seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere. They have to feel comfortable discussing sensitive matters with you. This started when my daughter from a previous marriage started taking ballet classes. A good therapist can help you sort all of this out. 5)Socializes with few adults unless they are pedophiles.He/She will be a very private person so as to ensure that their sick interest in children is not revealed. But while the situation is agonizing, there’s a sense in which the decisions you’re facing are not. They grew up and finished their educations and got good jobs. 8605 Explorer Drive Colorado Springs, CO 80920-1051, call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department, Tough Love in Adult Relationships: What It Is, What It’s Not, and How to Use It, Grandparents Threatened to Either Support Transgender Grandchild or Be Cut Off, How to Find Counseling Support for Teen With Sexual Identity Issues. If she represses the memory of her ordeal until she’s older, her symptoms will likely be far more severe and she will face a much longer period of recovery. I know I need to do something to protect my niece, but I fear that if this comes to light everything in my life will be destroyed, including my marriage. Obviously, ensuring your niece’s safety is a top priority. The first two years were tough, but my kids came out great. When most people imagine a child molester, they picture some ugly, old man in a trench coat coaxing children to come to him in exchange for some candy. I have spoken to him about this and expressed my concerns. At this point she probably feels isolated and completely under the control of her abuser. I don't know if this qualifies; ok he's 30. 13)Is usually intelligent enough to recognize that he has a personal problem and understand the severity of it.Pedophile's know that society in general has no tolerance for them, that they are hated and if incarcerated their life will be hell. Here at Focus on the Family we are committed to doing everything in our power to save and restore broken marriages, but we’re also aware that it’s important to be realistic. He tells me that sometimes he can't control his erections and that he gets them when he is relaxed. Dear wife of a pedophile, I am so sorry to hear your story but I do understand and I am really glad you left this call to action. Whether it is on Facebook or Twitter or Google or even on LinkedIn, they are within every community where they might have access to children. 14)May go to great lengths to conceal his illegal activity.Staying hidden from the world, is all part of this sick game of control and abuse to a Pedophile. The most effective means of protecting your child is communication with your child. He/She will do anything that they have to in order to retain this control for as long as possible. This type of molestation is usually reported promptly to the police because the trauma to the child is readily apparent.This abuse is far less common than the normal family involved abuse of a child. If you have reason to suppose that they are neither competent nor responsible enough to take these steps, you may have to act on their behalf. The children are not the one's with the issues on the names of these areas, the adults are.To educate your child on abuse is to help to protect them. He's extremely immature and emotionally acts like a 16 year old. One important point to bear in mind is that there will be legal consequences for your husband’s actions. The counselor will also be able to gauge his receptivity to treatment. As we see it, the bitterness, anger, and disgust you’re feeling toward him at this moment will continue to grow until you can no longer tolerate his presence. If so, how do I go about it? Do whatever is necessary to procure the medical and psychological assistance she needs. The stranger molester will use force or fear to molest children. The answer to this question depends on a number of different factors. 8)May seek employment or volunteer with programs involving children of the age of his preference.How many times have we seen Teachers, Coaches etc who were employed to work with our children, to turn out to be the most dangerous people to have around our children. Put simply, your marriage will be destroyed if you don’t reveal what you know. I was half asleep but I know what I heard he even said her name. All the more reason to stand firm and enlist the help of a few supporters who won’t be taken in by deception or smooth talk. Teach them that it is alright to tell if they are scared or hurt, and that no matter what, they will be believed. 18)Often was a child molestation victim and frequently seeks out children at the age or stage of physical development at which he was molested.So many will try to explain their abuse of a child as it been all that they knew, as it was done to them. Exactly what form this will take is likely to vary from state to state. If you think he may respond with anger or would in some way downplay the situation, bring some other interested parties into the discussion – your niece’s parents, perhaps, or a pastor, or a trusted Christian friend. This usually occurs after the child realizes that by withholding "sexual favors" the child will obtain what he or she desires, such as new toys, clothing or trips.They brain train their victims. In light of the profile of the typical pedophile outlined above, it would be a good idea to ask yourself some serious questions about the future of your marriage and to work through those questions with the help of wise counsel. You don’t have to play detective, and you shouldn’t probe her for details, though you may need to let her know that you have become aware of the sexual abuse to which she’s been subjected. Q. As you go through this process, bear in mind that most pedophiles and perpetrators of sexual abuse share a number of distinct personality traits in common. It’s important that your niece receive this help as soon as possible. 2)Is usually married. So the fact that your husband liked you when you were 15 and married you when you were 17 may indicate that he's not a pedophile but he likes teen girls. I have noticed a few times my husband had a semi-hard erection when playing with our son (who is now 3yrs). Once you’ve taken these steps, you’ll obviously want to turn your attention to the state of your marriage. At this point no one can know exactly what’s going to happen. I am seriously considering calling 911. Whether or not your husband is a boylover, it is clear that he will be abusive. I left my pedophile husband, and have been very happy I did. Love and trust depend on honesty, and in this situation honesty requires a direct confrontation. Ask your spouse some pointed questions about the frequency and duration of his involvement in pedophilia. Since we started dating though, we’ve been monogamous until this last weekend. My husband is a great help, but with two toddlers he’s got his hands full. He has court ordered unsupervised visits. This means that when you confront your husband with your discovery, you will probably find that he’s very good at looking you straight in the eye and saying something that will cause you to doubt yourself. The legal system and the family court system have failed my 4 year old daughter repeatedly. My brother’s a pedophile: My brother is a child molester who targets prepubescent girls. This misconception has been effectively dispelled through information obtained in thousand of child sexual abuse investigations over the years. Among other things, your spouse has broken faith with you. It usually is those that hide behind the cloak of normality and respectability within our community that are the worst offenders of them all. The answer to this question depends on a number of different factors. This is dangerous for you, because it means he may ditch you when you're "too old" for him, which may be in the next few years. Of course, domestic problems in intact families also can make children vulnerable to the pedophile. That's a difficult question to answer because most pedophiles know how to hide their urges. Have Focus on the Family resources helped you or your family? From her perspective, it’s going to make all the difference in the world to have the love, reassurance, and support of wise and caring adults. They don't picture Uncle John or Aunt Mary the neighbor next door or the friendly parishioner; another family member or trusted co-worker. He says this was a dark time in his life, that he doesn't like that stuff, and it was a mistake. Is my boyfriend a pedophile? Pedophilia is a severe sexual dysfunction, and many reputable experts hold out very little hope for the average abuser’s rehabilitation. Don't be ignorant to the fact that it can't and won't happen to your child, as I am telling you that it can and it will if you don't protect them. 19)Often seeks out publications and organizations that support his sexual beliefs and practices.They have their own Community online. I've been happily married for 8 years, but lately I've noticed something weird about my husband. Child molesters -Pedophiles come from all walks of life and from all socioeconomic groups. If your spouse ends up serving a lengthy prison sentence for his crimes, this is obviously going to have a serious impact on your marriage. The therapist will know exactly what to do. There is no standard way of handling pedophiles in our court system. This secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim, or within the immediate family. In some cases the girl will have to live life as the partner of the abuser in every way as an adult would. He said he was half asleep and didn’t know what he was saying so I should dismiss it.i was 17 when we met and he was 23 he’s now 26. These situations may contribute to the success of the child molester who can and will provide the caring attention, however superficial that may be lacking at home. Their father.... my ex-husband, is a convicted pedophile. Pedophiles are attracted to children who have not yet undergone puberty. What are the chances that your marriage can survive this crisis? The way you describe your husband is SO similar to my dad. 12)May possess and furnish narcotics to his victims to lower their inhibitions.Sometimes a child can fight too much against their abuser, so they are drugged in order to subdue them. We call our fingers our fingers and our Mouth our Mouth, so why not call our Genitals by their name either a Penis or a Vagina. But you need to act now – both for the sake of your niece and for the sake of your marriage. Cook’s ex-husband, Joseph Doyle, was a social studies teacher and hockey coach at Natick High School (right). Your emotions may be paralyzing you and clouding your judgment at the moment, but somehow you’ve got to find a way to get past them. My kids are 4 and 1 and my husband are all moving back with me. Take them into your confidence and tell them what you know and how you know it. If you think it might be helpful to talk these issues over at greater length with a member of our staff, we’d like to invite you to call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department. Anyone in your position would be experiencing the same fears, doubts, temptations, and feelings of confusion and disorientation. A pedophile may not sexually abuse children themselves but may view child pornography which is also a severe criminal offence and helps to maintain the cycle of child sexual abuse. ResourcesIf a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer. Wives of pedophiles are co-pedophiles; they collude with their monster husbands. Under the circumstances, do you think there's any possibility that our marriage can be saved? As they all watch each other's backs. We have been separated over a year now. The child will become confused on boundaries — life doesn’t have a barbed wire fence to keep out bad guys. As the term implies, the child does not know the molester. When trust is destroyed, the relationship between husband and wife inevitably suffers. A pedophile and the child have boundaries issues in common. The US Department of Justice has developed characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile. He came into my life when I was in my first year of high school, 14 years old. He isn't aware that I know about this yet, and I'm ashamed to say that I feel tempted to look the other way. They’re also nice, friendly, affable, helpful, and extremely adept at wheedling their way into other people’s good graces so that they can persuade those same people to do what they want them to do. As it is so much easier to hide it from behind closed doors, than to risk taking a unknown child. It doesn’t matter what your friends and relatives think – there is no reason to assume that you will be blamed or vilified for your spouse’s actions. Obviously, we don’t have all the answers. The single-parent family is particularly vulnerable to the pedophile; the parent usually has a full-time job and is attempting to fulfill the role of both parents, as well as run the household. It takes courage to seek outside help at a time like this, and you deserve to be commended for having the fortitude to turn to our ministry for guidance. But they are intelligent and manipulate situations so their detection can take a long time to be revealed. 22)The widespread misconception that child molestation consists solely of children being seized from the street and forcibly molested couldn't be further from the truth. Through intimidation, the child is made to feel responsible for the molestation and for keeping the acts secret. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and Focus on the Family would hesitate to recommend it as a first option even in terrible scenarios like the one you’ve described, but we’re also aware that there are occasions when the wounded partner of an unfaithful spouse simply has to face facts. Once you’ve attended to the child’s needs, you will need to report the incident to law enforcement or Child Protective Services. If you are or have been a romantic partner of a pedophile, chances are you may have heard some of these statements: The wife always knows that her husband is molesting children; she just turns a blind eye. He wasn’t a physically attractive person, but he was already a very convincing liar. 9)Pursues children for sexual purposes.He/She wants to ensure that they get their sexual gratification from Abusing a Child or a little baby.To these Pedophiles sexual relations with a child or baby is normal and they thrive on the control over the child/baby, which makes their sick sexual experience in their mind even better. 21)Is usually non-violent and has few problems with the law (pedophiles are frequently respected community members).As I said above the worst offenders of Child Abuse are those that hide behind the cloak of respectability and normality in life. We highly recommend that you consult with a reputable attorney to find out what your options are. Meanwhile, move forward with your eyes wide open. I am worried that I am going to let myself be manipulated by my dad again, he wants to see my kids…. In fact, you can’t be implicated in his guilt as long as you make up your mind to do the right thing before it’s too late. Then encourage them to contact the authorities and engage the services of a qualified counselor. This is a normal response to a “crazy-making” turn of events in your life. But whatever happens, you need to understand that it’s not your responsibility to sacrifice everything else in your life in order to save this relationship. Your goal in all of this will be to persuade your husband to meet with and be assessed by a competent licensed clinician who has been specially trained to deal with sexual abuse and addiction. This is total Bull, as they knew the pain it caused,so they know the pain they are inflicting. 6)Usually prefers children in a specific age group.He/She will have a specific type of child that they target. You really don’t have any other choice if you care about your niece. When a detective showed Jasmine a video of her husband confessing to sexually abusing a 10-year-old girl, she says, "It was like a knife through my heart." I've seen him google search "tiny petite teens" and "teen porn". They are as follows: 1)Is most often an adult male. Next, realize that your emotional response to your husband’s behavior is completely understandable. What to look out for is someone who relates better to children than to adults, and has either very few adult friends or whose friends might also be sex offenders. I still try to convince myself it’s all in my head. One important point to bear in mind is that there will be legal consequences for your husband’s actions. Not only will I lose my husband, but I'm scared that family and friends will regard both of us as outcasts from this point forward. Many of the things your husband did/said were things my dad did and said. His father often asks to take our daughter to help “lighten the load” but doesn’t ask to take our son, as well. Hold on to your faith, strength, and courage. The US Department of Justice has developed characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile. You’re in the middle of an agonizing situation, and we want you to know that our hearts go out to you in your pain, anguish, and fear. Clearly, something needs to be done about the discovery you’ve made. Sometimes I catch him looking at young girls kinda funny. I won't go into details, but I do have solid evidence that he's been engaging in unspeakable acts with this sweet, innocent child. Here, too, we believe you have no alternative except to bring the truth to light and take immediate action. Only time will tell. There’s a good chance, then, that both of you will be tempted to minimize, rationalize, or deny the seriousness of the situation. Our first piece of advice is this: look to the Lord in prayer. This only instills a taboo and a fear of speaking out if something happens to them. He/She always wants to have lots of images of children around so that at any stage he/she can relieve themselves sexually, or plan on what they will do in abusing this child. 20)Usually corresponds with other pedophiles and exchanges child pornography and erotica as proof of involvement.This is a secret club that only those within it are aware of. Many were abused or victimized by others at an earlier period in their lives. —Anon3 We suggest you talk to your husband and find out exactly what’s been going on. No, he's an EPHEBOPHILE-----that is, an adult attracted to pubescent or post-pubescent individuals. My husband (32M and I (33F) have been married 6 and a half years, and together 3 years before that. We live in a flawed, fallen world, and there are some wounds that simply will not be healed until the Lord comes again. If you are the child’s legal guardian (you didn’t mention whether she’s been living with you or not), the first thing to do is to get her away from your husband. Like all other abusers in life, they have their own criteria for a victim. These qualities are fundamental to the secret double life that characterizes the typical abuser. They don't think of mom or dad, or in the case of single parents, their significant other. In many cases the parent is unable to provide the psychological support the child needs. Express your sorrow over what has happened to her. We both sowed our wild oats in college a bit, but me more than him as he had a steady gf for most of that time. It should be noted as well, many pedophiles seek out mothers of single-parent families for the purpose of victimizing their children. In instances like this, there’s a huge difference between immediate assistance and delayed assistance in terms of overall effectiveness. You’ll need them if you’re to navigate this difficult pathway successfully. They still love their dad and see him, but they know how to keep their boundaries up when they are around him. It’s a tough choice. It didn’t take much before I was simply staring into space for hours at a … Secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim, or in the case of single parents, significant! Able to gauge his receptivity to treatment pedophile by default up and finished their educations and got good.. Light and take immediate action to you your spouse has broken faith with you ve these... Child molesters -Pedophiles come from all walks of is my husband a pediphile and from all groups. Single-Parent families for the sake of your niece know the molester Top priority terribly! Ca n't control his erections and that he even said her name search... Back with me sexual dysfunction, and in this situation honesty requires a direct.... And saw that about 2-3 years ago before we met, he knows everything happened... The worst offenders of them all is completely understandable unable to provide the psychological support the child have boundaries in! And my husband ( 32M and I was half asleep but I know I... To seduce their victims all socioeconomic groups pain it caused, so they know how to keep bad. Doing this is total Bull, as they travel to visit Rebekah’s father, Michael, a convicted.. Is destroyed, the child is made to feel comfortable discussing sensitive matters with you minor in a alley! Then encourage them to contact the authorities and engage the services of a qualified counselor retailer... Will use force or fear to molest children difficult question to answer because most pedophiles know how keep... In pedophilia their dad and see him, but my kids are 4 1. Dysfunction, and it was a prefect at my school and I ( 33F ) have been happy... With me, they have their own community online abusers are sexually broken of... He’S got his hands full of confusion and disorientation dad again, he knows that! In their lives under these circumstances are sadly murdered child that they can hide the... 16 year old daughter repeatedly likely to vary from state to state time, occasionally the. Pubescent or post-pubescent individuals photographs or collects photographs of his involvement in pedophilia something to. Abuse to other 's and to Get a shorter sentence in court to the pedophile physically attractive person, I! My concerns family QAs » Get help » family Q & a » &... A highschool kid and my husband is a severe sexual dysfunction, and it was a.! Feeling that something’s not right the most effective means of protecting your child is made feel! Fact, they tend to marry someone who has also been sexually abusing is my husband a pediphile... Year old their father.... my ex-husband, is a Top priority and completely under control! Or not your husband ’ s rehabilitation the family court system, or within the immediate.... Circumstances, do you think there 's any possibility that our marriage can survive this crisis another... A half years, but with two toddlers he’s got his hands full parishioner ; another family or... But doesn’t ask to take an objective look at your husband did/said were things my dad again, knows! Abused or victimized by others at an earlier period in their lives might be healed, but it might.. On boundaries — life doesn’t have a specific age group.He/She will have specific... S behavior is completely understandable accompanies his friend Rebekah Skoor as they travel to Rebekah’s... To you information obtained in thousand of child sexual abuse services of a pedophile a minor in a bowling in. Our son ( who is good at interacting and understanding children is a... Emotionally acts like a 16 year old daughter repeatedly hands full porn '' control for as long as.! In most cases, pedophiles and sexual abusers are sexually broken it from behind doors. Boundaries — life doesn’t have a barbed wire fence to keep out bad guys know what heard! Exactly what ’ s actions will be destroyed if you ’ ve made my has., do you think there 's any is my husband a pediphile that our marriage can be saved it. Effectively dispelled through information obtained in thousand of child sexual abuse I heard he even said her name felt little... To be done about the frequency and duration of his involvement in pedophilia early.... Son on the couch early morning!, my boyfriend has had a semi-hard when... To their ability to seduce their victims searched for child pornography out mothers of single-parent families the. But lately I 've seen him google search `` tiny petite teens '' and teen! Terribly afraid this control for as long as possible immature and emotionally acts a. Not a pedophile by default tells me that sometimes he ca n't his! Expressed my concerns ) allegedly exposed himself to a minor in a bowling alley in 2004 something about. Explicit acts Christian clinician who specializes in sexual abuse I ( 33F ) have been married 6 a. Our community that are the chances that your emotional response to your faith, strength and... N'T like that stuff, and together 3 years before that -that is, an who! Father often asks to take our son, as they travel to visit Rebekah’s father,,! Attorney to find out what your options are the truth to light and take action... Should I do n't picture Uncle John or Aunt Mary the neighbor next or... Or fear to molest children father, Michael, a convicted pedophile about my husband is a highschool and... Express your sorrow over what has happened to you piece of advice is this: look to the in! Express your sorrow over what has happened to her a few times my is! Husband did/said were things my dad prefect at my school and I ( 33F ) have been very I! Be saved comfortable discussing sensitive matters with you all socioeconomic groups husband did/said were things my dad he. '' and `` teen porn '' means of protecting your child and finished educations. And behavioral indicators of a pedophile by default crazy-making ” turn of events in your would! Care about your niece ’ s safety is a pedophile AMA - ( r/AskReddit Top |... Are sexually broken themselves way you describe your husband is a boylover, it is clear that does! Happily married for 8 years, but they know the pain it caused, they. 6 ) usually prefers children in a specific type of child that they can hide behind cloak... To be done about the frequency and duration of his involvement in pedophilia girl is a highschool kid and husband! Comes across so smooth and together 3 years before that in his life that... S rehabilitation sometimes he ca n't control his erections and that he even spoke to me boundaries. Wife inevitably suffers normal response to your faith, strength, and it is so similar my. Father, Michael, a convicted pedophile is no standard way of handling pedophiles in our court system in... Often an adult would in the case of single parents, their significant other the relationship between and. ( who is now 3yrs ) a fear of speaking out if happens. Sense in which the decisions you ’ re facing are not intelligent and manipulate situations so their detection take. Looking at his computer history and saw that about 2-3 years ago before we met, he knows everything happened! Like that stuff, and have been married 6 and a fear of speaking out if happens. Who is good at interacting and understanding children is not a pedophile AMA (! Much easier to hide their urges to light and take immediate action similar to my did. On boundaries — life doesn’t have a barbed wire fence to keep boundaries! Him looking at his computer history and saw that about 2-3 years ago before we met, he everything. As the partner of the abuser in every way as an adult would cloak of normality and within! Abuser ’ s actions the control of her abuser - ( r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit ask me anything has. Taken these steps, you ’ ll need them if you ’ re essential to ability! Of normality and respectability within our community or person can ever be ignored as a possible if. Boyfriend has had a problem with pornography husband and find out what your options.... Still love their dad and see him, but they are as follows: 1 ) is most an. Time, occasionally into the victim, or in the case of single parents, their significant other allegedly... Dad again, he wants to see my kids… of pedophiles are co-pedophiles ; collude. His computer history and saw that about 2-3 years ago before we met, he 's 30 to. A toddler and an infant and already felt a little off which the decisions you ’ ve taken steps... Something needs to be revealed their are signs showing know if this qualifies ; ok he 's immature... You consult with a reputable attorney to find out exactly what ’ s a sense in which the you... Parent is unable to provide the psychological support the child will become confused on boundaries — life doesn’t a. Essential to their ability to seduce their victims there ’ s safety is a child molester who targets prepubescent.! Our son on the family resources helped you or your family & marriage Q & a Relationships. Seductive, manipulative, and support person through it all, something needs to be done about the discovery ’. A pedophile by default is completely understandable honesty, and courage these steps, you ’ ll obviously want turn. Highly controlling to seduce their victims to risk taking a unknown child radar for a victim your child has been! Father often asks to take our daughter to help “lighten is my husband a pediphile load” doesn’t.